Friday, 25 January 2013

Second Things First

I'm sitting in the university library.

It's quiet.

I don't mean library quiet, either - usually, there's some kind of noise kicking about. A group of guys giggling girlishly (points for alliteration?); a student idly twirling his pencil; the odd slurp; the odd sigh; the odd sob of despair.

Right now it's an empty, noiseless vaccuum. I thought I should try and work out why:

"Yes, sir?"
"Why aren't there groups of friends studying?"
"Because, sir," Brain replied with masked condescension, "Because people studying this late, so early into term, don't really have friends. Sir."
"Cheers, Brain."
"My pleasure, sir."

In the vacuum, then, I thought I'd create a second blog, which I've been meaning to do for a while. I say second blog because I already have one which I've been gradually giving up on, for a few reasons:

(1) The website that ran the blog wasn't very good.
(2) The blogging community wasn't very good. Today's top thrillers include - "Let's be fake friends!" "pre-sex disappointment" and "vacation!!!!!" - that third makes me want to wring the writer's neck with all the unneccessary exclamation.
(3) The blog itself wasn't very good.

No (mother), don't try and defend it. The average post was okay - but its real problem was that I posted stuff up for the sake of posting stuff up. I'd do my blog-a-week without writing about anything I found interesting, which entailed the odds of my audience finding it interesting were fairly nonexistent.

It was, frankly, a sea of banality.

But this'll be different ("He says with strained certainty.""Shut it Brain."). For one, I'm only going to post stuff up if I have something I want to say. My number one audience here is me. Sorry, mother.

This could be stuff from my life, stuff I've been writing on in my spare time, reviews, thoughts, meanderings.Anything, but it has to matter to me.

So here I am,
David Eves A.K.A ScotByDefault -here to bring you another electronic opnion you never asked for.

However, everything thus far has been incredibly formal, though the word thus probably isn't helping anything. I'll share a quick story to flesh a person out from this wall of text. Painful to me, amusing for you. Don't say I'm not good to you.

On tuesday, I was walking to an event with two friends and a Friend-of-a-friend. Friend A spotted someone and meandered off to say hello. Friend B went to the bathroom and suddenly, I was alone with Friend-of-a-friend. I froze in terror, eyes darting everywhere for a potential escape route.

Do I introduce myself? Pretend I dropped something several hundred paces away? Flee? The whole situation felt as though David Attenborough was narrating quietly into ear.

The prey sees no exit. Trapped in socially awkward circumstances, the prey awkwardly smiles and says hello.

Aptly, however, the prey only got as far as 'hell', for just as I made the decision to interact, Friend-of-a-friend saw Friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend across the way and walked over to say hi, leaving me near others who I'm entirely sure saw what just went on. Blushing, I waited for friends A and B to return, at which point I begged them never, never leave me again.

Hope you enjoyed, see you whenever I've got something I want to say.
As a pioneer of the #opinionnoonecaresabout hashtag, it shouldn't take too long.

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